Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Glitterbuzzstyle Women's Issues: Q & A
Tiffany Roberts 24 from VA asked:
I recently began dating a good friend of mine that I have known for about 10 yrs. We were dating for about six months and I just found out I am pregnant. I'm not sure what I should do because he just moved to Boston for a new job and is currently seeing his ex who is in Boston as well. I'm really nervous about getting an abortion and also informing him. I think this will be a big blowout and I'm not in love with him at all. I know he really loves his ex so what should I do?
Hey Tiffany,
It is always a tough situation for any girl who is pregnant and unsure whether or not to keep it. But you have an advantage, because you have already been good friends with him for 10 years. You are not in love with him, and he is not with you, but that doesn't mean that you cannot be good parents together. On the contrary, as I said, that is actually an advantage for you since you have already maintained a longtime friendship with him. Or, maybe both of you will agree that its better for you not to have the baby at all. That is your decision, but make sure you include him in it. Sometimes, some women think that men don't have any right to know, and that is not true. If we expect men to do their part in taking care of the children they father, then we should be fair in letting them know what we are going to do. You wouldn't be pregnant without him, so he deserves to know what is going on. Ultimately, it will be your decision, and he can't make it for you, but let him at least tell you his viewpoint. You never know, instead of being a big blowout, it could end up bringing you two closer together in friendship.
Wendy Nyc said:
I met a great guy and he is perfect except for one thing the sex. I really like him but he doesn't please me sexually. I thought maybe I should say something but I don't want to hurt his feelings he at times takes things to heart. What advice can you give me? Everything else is so good!
Wendy,
This kind of situation usually means that you are meant to just be friends. If he doesn't satisfy you sexually, eventually you won't be sexually attracted to him at all, and what does that translate to? Friendship. However, if you feel that he is worth holding onto, than try to gently guide him. GIve him subtle hints, or even outright blatant directions if that's what it takes - tell him what you like, tell him what turns you on. Try to do so without damaging his ego too much, maybe bring it up in conversation, or when you guys are heading home from a date. Sometimes us women have to take the reigns in these situations! Despite how much they might talk, men don't always know what they are doing , and women are extremely different from one another sexually, so don't assume he should automatically know how to please you. If you want him to be aggressive, then tell him. If you want more foreplay, then tell him. My guess would be that kind of talk isn't going to hurt his feelings; instead, he's probably going to want to try out your suggestions asap. So get to it, girl, let him know what it takes to get you going.
fiona russo 32 asked:
Just began dating a guy about a month ago, what would be a good holiday gift to give him? I don't want it to a be super gift just something perfect for new daters.
Fiona,
Here are some not-too-personal but still cool gift ideas for your new boyfriend:
- a gift card to Borders, Barnes & Noble, or another of his favorite stores
- A nice bottle of single malt scotch, or a wine box set
- a box of upscale cigars
- a digital camera, webcam, or something related
- an iTunes gift card
- sports or concert tickets
- if he's a gamer or has a Wii - any game he doesn't have will do - you can't go wrong with Guitar Hero
If you want to personalize it a bit more, than focus on his interests and go from there. Is he into music, or does he play any instruments? Get him some sheet music or an accessory to his instrument (like an fx pad for his guitar). Is he into rock-climbing, biking, hiking, and that kind of thing? Than get him a new backpack or some other gear. Is he a gamer? Get him the video game he won't shut up about. And so on.
Hope that helps!
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